Feb 22, 2021
The truth about Porn Addiction
with Josh Shea
I knew I might have a tiny drinking problem, but I’d never heard of the term co-addiction. I’d never even heard of the term pornography addiction. If there was such a thing, surely it was a skinny, acne-faced, 20-year-old living in his mom’s basement who had never kissed a girl in real life. It couldn’t be me. As it turns out, my tiny drinking problem was a huge one, and it was only through the therapy I got at inpatient rehab that I was able to really begin to accept, and delve, into a pornography addiction I’d never thought about before.
There is no such thing as a stereotypical porn addict and simply because you label yourself one kind of addict doesn’t mean you can’t also be another. It can happen to anyone, but they can get through to the other side, much like I did – especially with the help of my wife. She saw the ravages alcohol was taking on me, but I hid my pornography use from her until it was too late....and that's where the story gets interesting...
The Expert
My road to pornography addiction expert wasn't easy. In a nutshell, I rose to local celebrity status in New England as the publisher of a well-respected magazine, the found of one of the region's largest film festivals as a member of the City Council in my town. But... I was hiding the secret of not only my mental health issues but also my alcoholism and porn addiction for 20-25 years. My addictions escalated and in late 2013, I engaged a teenage girl online in a chat room while intoxicated. I ended up doing six months in jail for that, but thankfully, with a lot of professional help, including two inpatient rehabs and hundreds of hours of therapy and support, I have completely turned my life around and now use my story to give hope to others.
My wife stood by my side during my early recovery, encouraged me to speak out about it and I now get email from my website, RecoveringPornAddict.com almost every day from women who are seeking help regarding their partner's porn addiction. That’s what prompted my new book, “He’s a Porn Addict…Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions” co-written with an LMFT out of California, Tony Overbay. I also wrote a memoir about my descent into alcoholism and porn addiction that was released in January 2018.
Since we pretend nobody looks at porn, it doesn't seem like a big deal, but did you know that 1-in-3 men who are 18-to-30 years old self-identify as a porn addict or that 28% of people have admitted to looking at porn at work in the last three months according to two studies? Or that 98% of married men under 40 looked at porn in the last 6 months? I can flood you with statistics that are just as scary as I have done more research on this topic than just about anybody I've met.